Spider-Man: Brand New Day, Adulthood, and Healing

Anyone who knows me knows I’ve been counting down to Spider-Man: Brand New Day since Marvel announced it.
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Tom Holland’s Spider-Man has been my favorite Marvel hero ever since Captain America: Civil War. I’d missed the other films’ theatrical runs, so I decided that no matter what, I was going to see this one.

I tracked all the leaked trailer snippets. I researched fan theories. I even got opening weekend tickets so I wouldn’t fall prey to spoilers.

And it did not disappoint. A movie has not made me feel so seen in a long time. (I cried twice. I regret nothing.) After the movie, once the hype and adrenaline quieted, I realized this story very much mirrored my own and spoke into my current struggles.

So consider this my official review of Spider-Man: Brand New Day, with a dash of encouragement. Maybe my noticings can help you out, too.

Obviously, there will be MASSIVE spoilers ahead, so if you’ve not seen it, please do yourself the biggest of favors and come back here after you’ve watched the movie.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day is about adulthood.

I was fifteen when Tom Holland’s Spider-Man made his first MCU appearance. Ironically, Peter Parker was also fifteen. Even though I didn’t get into Marvel until later, I still grew up alongside this character. I related deeply to him for many reasons, but most of all, he felt very real to my teen experience.

Now I’m twenty-five, and this character I grew up with is also in his twenties. He takes down crime bosses, saves the city, and then has to deal with the laundry he put off.

To quote a Conan Gray song, growing up doesn’t always go how we’d like it. It doesn’t for Peter. He loses everyone he loves. Everyone he cares about forgets him and moves on. He’s starting over completely from scratch, and he’s not sure he likes who he is becoming.

No one teaches you how to be an adult. I’m not sure anybody can, at least not entirely. Sometimes adulthood feels like a mountain of things we’re supposed to instinctively know how to do.

And when we don’t, it’s all too easy to believe we failed. We look around at other adults our age, and they seem to have it all together. They thrive at work and smash their goals and they probably know how to do their taxes, too. It feels like we’re falling behind.

On top of that, everyone else is changing, too. Family dynamics shift. Friends go to college or move away or get married. It’s all too easy to feel alone and forgotten, and it’s all too easy to isolate ourselves so we never feel that way again.

Growing up can be weird and scary—but this movie reminded me that it will be okay. It won’t be weird and scary forever.

But for now, while you’re still in the weird and scary, you don’t have to have it all together. No one here on earth has it all together, no matter how much it may look like they do. We’re all struggling to one degree or another, and you’re not a failure if you can’t keep up with it all. And we still need each other in that.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day is about burnout. 

Peter’s colleagues—the few colleagues he has—beg him to slow down. His own body screams at him to stop. But Peter insists on pushing through.

So his body takes matters into its own hands. It’s almost like constant stress and pressure can mess you up physically? Who knew?

I’ve discussed this on my blog before, but I went through a time where I could not write. An ability I had always had disappeared. I was dealing with stress and trauma, all while trying very hard to be a successful human. My body and mind begged me to rest, but my responsibilities were always there to remind me that I didn’t have time. (I wrote more about it HERE.)

Back then, I think I optimistically believed that I had cracked the code, and if I just followed my own advice, when the burnout came back, it wouldn’t be so bad, and one day, it would even disappear. That’s not what happened, at least not yet. I still go through burnout cycles and all the fun stuff that comes with that.

But this movie reminded me of the advice I tried to give myself back then. It’s okay to rest. Take naps. Set smaller goals for yourself. Step back from a non-essential responsibility. Your whole world won’t implode (most likely). Choose the form of rest that works for you and what you need right now.

Because if you don’t choose to rest, if you don’t choose to listen to what your body and brain tell you, then they will make sure you do. Also, you might mutate into a spider.  

Spider-Man: Brand New Day is about healing.

Ultimately, Peter’s story is about healing. Peter has spent the past several years desperately shoving away his hurt and his feelings and his grief.

All throughout my childhood and into my adulthood, I did the same. I got really good (or at least I thought I was) at shoving my feelings away until I literally couldn’t anymore—and then feeling ashamed for letting them out at all.

Eventually, all those feelings came back to haunt me. I had to admit that I had feelings that scared me. I was deeply angry and deeply hurt and deeply sad. And I couldn’t just tuck them away for a more convenient time. I had to feel all those feelings.

Peter finally hits a point where he has to deal with his own rage and grief and depression. He can’t just shut off the parts of him that he doesn’t like, no matter how much he wants to. He finally has to feel it all and accept all those parts of himself.

But that doesn’t mean he lets his bad traits drive him. You can’t ignore the parts of yourself that you don’t like, but those parts don’t have to control you, either.

His healing also comes through reconnecting with the people he’s kept away. Friendship matters, especially when you’re an adult, whether it’s strengthening relationships you already have or seeking out new ones. Peter has to be honest, be vulnerable and let other people in to what’s going on in his head (sometimes literally). Adulting can be weird and scary, and it’s so, so important that we don’t do it alone.

And when he opens up about his deepest hurts, he becomes the person his younger self needed. He becomes the person Aunt May was for him.

Spider-Man: Brand New Day brought me both comfort and hope. Comfort that I’m not alone in my struggle, that I can rest as long as I need, and that I’m not failing or falling behind. And hope that I can become the person my younger self needed, that I can be there for other people, and that I’m not alone.

Spider-Man movies have always been a place where I feel seen and explore my struggles, and this latest installment is no exception. Take whatever reminder you need with you today, and know you are not alone.

Have you seen Spider-Man: Brand New Day yet? What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments below! 

Hi, I’m Rachel! I write young adult fantasy. I write the novels I needed growing up—the novels I still need. Novels for the weird little girls and the women they’re becoming.

Maybe you need those stories, too? You can get one for free by signing up for my email newsletter via the “HOME” page of my website. It might involve a girl and the magical violin she didn’t want and maybe a metaphor about grief. Plus, you’ll also get email-exclusive updates on my dieselpunk Anastasia reimaging. Sound good? I hope I’ll see you there! ​