How to Manage Holiday Stress (Without Becoming Even More Stressed)

This year will be THE year. The year I get my act together. I’ll finish all my gift shopping on Black Friday so I get the best deals. I’ll neatly pencil all my events on the calendar, and none of them will ever conflict with each other. And after all that, I’ll still have time to enjoy a Christmas movie.
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*Enter stress*

Because the Black Friday ship has long since sailed and I still don’t know what to get my coworkers. Oh, and those cards still needs signed. And how did I totally space our local tree lighting?

The holiday stress is REAL. No matter how much we love the holidays, how we count the days until they arrive, how much fun they bring—they’re still out of the norm. They’re still a lot. And sometimes it feels like too much. (Maybe it is too much.)  

I’m not an expert. Anyone who’s seen my schedule knows that. But I’ve stumbled upon a few things over the past year that have made this year a more peaceful one. Maybe those things will comfort you too.

But first, pray.

I know, I know. It sounds cheesy and hyper-spiritual.

“Well, that’s all good and fine since you’re literally a saint, but what about me, a regular person?”

“What happens when I HAVE been praying, and my stress hasn’t budged an inch?”

“Did I do it wrong? Or did it just not work?”

Saying a prayer will not make your stress magically disappear. Physically, you may not be at peace. Emotionally, you may not be at peace.

But prayer puts us spiritually at peace. It helps us see this season just a little bit more like God sees it. It helps us slow down, take a breath, interrupt our spiraling thoughts. It reminds us that we’re not facing the music alone. And the parties. And the shopping. And the whatever. Because we’re not alone. Jesus is doing all this holiday stuff with us, and I feel like He knows a thing or two about stress.

You don’t need a fancy prayer. Recall an aspect of His character. Thank Him for a good experience you had. Or even just say, “I’m feeling stressed, I need your help.”

You CANNOT *clap* DO *clap* IT *clap* ALL *clap*

You can’t. Don’t try. You will get stressed and burned out. Please don’t ask how I know this.

You cannot do all the things for all the people. Prayer reminds us who God is, but life still reminds us that we are human. We are finite.

The season will not fall apart if you don’t do all the things, because you’re not the one holding all things together.

Pick the things that matter to you. Start with the non-negotiables—job obligations or traditions that you absolutely will not miss. Then build out. What do you want to do? What will bring you joy? What will help you bring others joy? Don’t fear prioritizing!

Would you rather do all the things and not be able to enjoy them or do some things and be able to enjoy the things that you chose?

It’s okay if you miss an opportunity.

You can’t do it all, and you don’t need to feel awful about missing an opportunity here or there. If you have no interest in any of the Christmas things you used to love, that’s a different matter entirely. But if you don’t watch all the Christmas movies this year, or if you decorate the tree a little differently, or if you miss an event, it’s okay. It probably means it would have been too much after all.

The things will happen this season that are meant to happen. And yes, our involvement does affect what happens, but quite frankly, the things that need to happen will happen whether or not we’re involved. It’s more important that we are present in the opportunities that do work out. And sometimes missing an opportunity here or there opens the door for a new opportunity, a new experience, or even a new tradition.

Guess what? The holidays come every year. This isn’t the last Christmas there will ever be. You will either enjoy all the things next year, or we’ll be in heaven and I’m guessing they have a way better Christmas than we do. Those missed opportunities might just come back to you.

Be intentional with what you do have.

You can’t be in two places at once, but you can choose that fun Christmas musical and add a little laughter to a hectic weekend. Your work schedule may be wild, but you can watch the Christmas lights as you drive home. Your family schedule might be hectic, but you can still gather and watch twenty minutes of a Christmas movie.

When we release the things we can’t and don’t need to control, we make room to be present and intentional in the moments that we do have and can control.

I can’t control everyone else. I can’t control my work or my friends or my family. I can’t control the weather or anyone else’s schedule.

But I can control myself and how I respond to the situations that come.

So pray first. Know you can’t do it all. Release missed opportunities. And be intentional with the opportunities you do have.

It won’t magically cure all the season’s stress. But it’s a little something that might help, just a bit.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have Christmas movies to watch. And maybe some last minute gift shopping to do. 

​How have your holidays been this year? Is there something special you're looking forward to? Do you have any special ways you handle holiday stress? Let me know in the comments below! 

Hi, I’m Rachel! I write young adult fantasy novels that walk the line between the darker elements of fantasy and the weirder elements of cartoons. But more importantly, I write the novels I needed growing up—the novels I still need. Novels for the weird little girls and the women they’re becoming.

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