If you’ve followed my emails this year, you know that my writing hasn’t gone quite the way I had hoped.

I had planned that I would complete my first fantasy novel this year, and it would be THE ONE. (Whatever that means.)
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I didn’t expect perfection, or at least that’s what I told myself. But I did expect smooth sailing. After all, I’d drafted six publishable novels before this. I would pitch THE ONE, and, if I acknowledged my wildest dreams, I’d publish THE ONE.

None of that happened. THE ONE joined the sad collection of brilliant concepts that I gave up halfway through. Something was off and I couldn’t put my finger on what.

Not even five years ago, I was finishing novels left and right. I still looked back on those stories and characters and loved the work I did.

Now, even when I did struggle through a story and reach the end, I didn’t even like it all that much. I could see the glimmer of something good deep inside them, but they fell far short of all I dreamed they would be. I’d lost that connection that I once had.

And now I couldn’t even finish a story.

I felt like I’d lost the ability to write. No. Worse than that. I felt like I’d lost my creativity, my ability to create a story and a world and characters.

I couldn’t remember a time when I couldn’t write. I’d always had that ability. Stories had always been there. I’d always been writing one story or another. And now when people asked about my writing, I had nothing to show for my hours and hours of work.

I felt like I was letting someone down somewhere.

I was letting myself down.

I know I’ve said a lot about myself, but maybe you can relate, too. Something you could do once is gone, and it feels like it’s taken a part of you with it.

Lots of factors can cause this, some of them serious. So I’m not at all saying  this discussion will cure it all. There are things that are bigger than what we can handle alone.

So I asked my writing mentors and instructors how they handled it. Was this even a normal feeling? Turns out it was. And each instructor, without fail, said I needed to step back.

That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to push forward! I wanted to accomplish things! I wanted to impress all those people who were waiting on me to do something spectacular! I watched so many good opportunities slide past. I felt like I was missing out and left behind.

But the advice didn’t change—take a step back. Reconnect with what I love. Why did I love those early stories I wrote? Why did I love writing? What would keep me going when it wasn’t fun or easy anymore?

So reluctantly, I cleared all the big writing projects I’d hoped to complete this summer. I decided to use these months to write whatever interested me at the time.

I can’t speak to the long term effects of this approach. But I can say that I have had a lot more fun with my writing sessions, the way I used to.

But I want to focus on something else for a moment.

When I was most discouraged, I thought I would never complete another story I loved ever again. (My brain is quite the drama queen.) My brain confused the fact that I couldn’t write right now with the idea that I never would again.

But like I said, I’d always been able to write. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it yet. I already had. So didn’t I need to just push through and do it? To quit being lazy?

Enter Pilates.

Since I’ve had more time during the summer, I’ve been working out more. And nowhere was this “not yet” concept illustrated more clearly than during Pilates.

Of course I had a rough first couple days. But I slowly built more muscle and stamina, until I could hold the stretches as long as the instructor.

Which made me even more frustrated when I couldn’t. I mean, this was ridiculous! I could hold a perfect bridge yesterday. Why not today?

There were lots of reasons why. Maybe I hadn’t slept well. Maybe I’d been more active than usual the day before. Maybe I was sick. Maybe there was no reason! (That was the one that infuriated me the most.)

Pilates stresses listening to your body. Not in a creepy “I can heal myself with my mind” way—paying attention to which muscles hurt, which areas feel good, where I’m struggling, where I’m getting stronger. I’ve learned to notice where I can challenge myself and where I need rest so I don’t hurt myself. Crazy thing—God designed our bodies like that.

When I write, I can listen to my brain and to my heart. What can I do today? Where can I stretch? Where do I need rest?

So I did what I could do that day. And sometimes the next day I still struggled. But sometimes the next day I could do it again.

And during a Pilates class, I finally realized. Writing might be hard now. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t write at all. I could do what I was able to right then.

And just because it’s hard right now doesn’t mean that I’ll never create a story again. It means I can’t right now, and I need to rest and slowly build those muscles again.

I wasn’t a Pilates failure because I couldn’t hold one particular stretch. I could do an easier stretch instead. I could take a break. It didn’t matter. I was working out, I was getting stronger, and I was having fun.

So I couldn’t draft a full length novel right now. But I could write a short story. I could play around with new ideas. I could revisit old characters. It didn’t matter. I was writing, I was being creative, and I was having fun.

Just because I can’t do it today doesn’t mean I never will. Just because I could do it yesterday doesn’t mean I have to do it today.

I don’t know what your thing is—whether art or exercise or work or something completely different. But what has been true for me these past months is true for you, too. Just because you can’t do it today doesn’t mean you never will. Rest if you need rest, and reconnect with why you love whatever it is.

It will come back when you’re ready. Challenge yourself a little bit at a time. You’ll get there soon enough. 

Hi, I’m Rachel! I write young adult/new adult fantasy novels that walk the line between the darker elements of fantasy and the weirder elements of cartoons. But more importantly, I write the novels I needed growing up—the novels I still need. Novels for the weird little girls and the women they’re becoming.

Maybe you need those stories, too? You can get one for free by signing up for my email newsletter via the “HOME” page of my website. It might involve a girl and the magical violin she didn’t want, plus maybe a metaphor about grief? Plus, you’ll also get email-exclusive updates about what I’m reading, watching, and writing. Sound good? I hope I’ll see you there! ​

I was twenty-three before I watched my favorite kids’ cartoons.
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To be fair, I got a late start. Due to life circumstances that were out of my control, I was a heavily sheltered kid (which my heavily sheltered friends will know comes with unique pros and cons).

But then I got older, and those circumstances changed, and I made my own decisions about my media and entertainment. And along the way, I stumbled across some cartoons that became a comfort.

It was easy. I didn’t have to invest too much time, just twenty minutes here or there. No matter what happened, I knew it would work out (mostly) by the end. It was safe. It was familiar. It was comforting.

But it also brought shame with it. After all, I was twenty-three. A grown person. Other people my age watched mature dramas, and I curled up in the corner with Disney Channel reruns.

I figured it was just because I had a late start. I was living the glory days I didn’t have, and sooner or later I’d find those more mature stories.

And don’t get me wrong, I love mature stories, too. (Six of Crows and Arcane, anyone?)

But the opposite happened. I traveled even further down the cartoon wormhole and found even more shows that I love and will pop on after a long day at work.

More than that, I found other adults who feel the same. I can talk about my favorite cartoons around them and not feel silly or childish.

Cartoons aren’t just for kids anymore, and maybe they never were. More and more, shows intended for kids attract older teens and adults with them. (Consider Gravity Falls—while the show is aimed at kids and aired on Disney, the creator recently released a spin-off book exclusively for older teens and adults.)

So, as I put on my favorite cartoons and wind down, I can’t help but wonder why cartoons—and other kids’ media—captivate adults so much.

Does it say something about how we view adulthood?

THE NOSTALGIA FACTOR

The world kinda lacks nostalgia. 

 We get up early, we go to work to make money, but we can’t even spend that money on fun stuff, no, we pay bills and repair our car and get gas. (Don’t get me started on insurance calls.) We come back home exhausted after a full work day, catch up on a few chores around the house, and by then it’s time to fall into bed and scroll news videos that make us feel horrible, but we somehow feel worse if we scroll past.

Kids’ media brings back those simpler times. Sometimes it’s because we grew up with a show and it takes it back. Sometimes (like in my case) we may have never grown up with the show ourselves, but the vibe brings back our childhood anyway.

Not to use a Gravity Falls example again (but I absolutely will), I was about twelve or thirteen when the first season aired. I never watched the show then, but when I did watch it about ten years later, it transported me back to the twelve-year-old me who could wander the woods for hours in my own make-believe world searching for conspiracies.

(In hindsight, it’s good younger me didn’t watch Gravity Falls. Or Phineas and Ferb. She would have been insufferable.)

I wonder if that’s why we come back to the colorful screens of kids’ cartoons and media. Being grown up isn’t all we hoped and dreamed and imagined, and all we want now is to go back to that simpler time. It’s not that we didn’t have problems then—we did, sometimes really big ones. I can’t quite put it in words, but everything felt smaller and bigger all at the same time.

The nostalgia factor can go beyond screens. Like I mentioned, I felt embarrassed for being an adult and loving kids’ media and cartoons. We all think we know what adulthood should look like, and we all study the other adults around us and think they’re absolutely killing it out there.

But deep down inside, even on our best days, we all feel like three kids stacked in a trench coat.

It seems silly to say it all changed with a meme, but it did. I don’t have the screenshot anymore, but it said something like, “your twenties are for enjoying all the same things you loved as a kid, except you’re not embarrassed about it anymore.”

Once I adopted that mindset, nostalgia and wonder didn’t stay in my screen, they colored my life, too. It was okay to do things just because I enjoyed them, even if those things seemed a little silly. It was okay to read a cheesy book because it sounded fun, or to take a walk even if no one else came along. I’m not perfect at it by any stretch, but I’m learning to be myself and to enjoy things—embarrassment free.

This is why I find kids’ media so powerful. It reintroduces wonder and nostalgia into our everyday life.

SIMPLE STORIES, DEEP TRUTH

Remember how I said our childhoods weren’t without their problems? Well, cartoons aren’t either.

Not all those problems were as big a deal as we thought, now that we look back. A squabble with a sibling, or a lost possession, or a silly fear that wouldn’t quite leave us alone.

But we underestimate how big the problems are that kids sometimes deal with. Kid me dealt with big things, even if I didn’t have words for them at the time. And sometimes those hurts, big and small, follow us into adulthood.

Kids’ cartoons and media have a unique stage that allows them to tackle these problems. The stories themselves are simpler—a bad guy must be vanquished or an adventure must be had, and by golly, these colorful two-dimensional characters will find it!

As stunning as complex themes and questions can be, sometimes we need a simple story.

I’ve used Gravity Falls examples so far, so why stop now? One episode in particular struck me, where the monster of the week waited until the main character was tired and frustrated and hurt by a sibling before he attempts a deal.

I could think of so many times and spaces where I felt tired and frustrated and hurt. And it made me consider what “monsters” might poke at those spaces and attempt a deal.

A simple point. Basic, some might even say. But still powerful.

On the other end of the spectrum, another cartoon I enjoyed, The Owl House, dealt with topics like abuse and manipulation—heavy topics, and topics very close to home for me. But within the borders of this fantastical story, they didn’t feel quite so big, and I could approach them more clearly.

Kids’ cartoons and media create a safe space. They can tackle deep topics so well because they’re simple.

We seek out cartoons to relax, to unwind. Through their structure and predictability, their color and humor, they build a safe space each morning or evening or whenever we press play. They give us a safe space to talk about the things that bother us, maybe things that have bothered us for a long time. Sometimes they put plain words to thoughts that swirl around our heads.

So yeah, I still watch cartoons, even though I’m a grown-up. But now I’m not quite so embarrassed about it. Because at day’s end, there’s something special about seeking out nostalgia and wonder—the wonderful things that God placed here for us to find. I’m pretty sure He didn’t mean for us to drudge through our lives. Life can be hard but there’s still things to enjoy.

And at day’s end, there’s something special about saying deep things in a simple way. We all need those spaces. We all need that wonder.

Maybe, we all need cartoons.

What are your favorite cartoons? Drop them in the comments below—I’m always looking for recs. While I’m at it, I’ll share my faves, too.


Hi, I’m Rachel! I write young adult/new adult fantasy novels that walk the line between the darker elements of fantasy and the weirder elements of cartoons. But more importantly, I write the novels I needed growing up—the novels I still need. Novels for the weird little girls and the women they’re becoming.

Maybe you need those stories, too? You can get one for free by signing up for my email newsletter via the “HOME” page of my website. It might involve a girl and the magical violin she didn’t want, plus maybe a metaphor about grief? Plus, you’ll also get email-exclusive updates about what I’m reading, watching, and writing. Sound good? I hope I’ll see you there! 

​I know, I know. We’re almost halfway through 2025 and I’m doing this now? But you know what, life happens, so here I am. Anyway, here are my most anticipated 2025 reads, which ones I’ve read, and how they’ve measured up. They’re in no particular order, just so you know. I’ve also included content warnings.

Ambessa: Chosen of the Wolf by C. L. Clark
(Fantasy) (READ)
(Please note: this book deals with sensitive topics/content including harsh language, gore, and implied sexual content. Some readers may also want to be aware of LGBTQIA+ characters.)

It is absolutely no secret that I love the TV show Arcane: League of Legends. So I freaked out a little when they announced a spin-off novel. While this one is best enjoyed by Arcane and League of Legends super-fans, I found it very true to the TV show, especially the characters and the brutal moral dilemmas they faced. (Five stars.)

The Codebreaker’s Daughter by Amy Lynn Green
(Christian adult historical)

Amy Lynn Green never misses. I’m fascinated with codebreaker stories, and it looks like the mother/daughter conflict and relationship will play a huge role in this one, which I’m definitely here for. My copy actually just came in, and I can’t wait to get started!

Glass Across the Sea by Sara Ella
(YA fantasy)

Sara Ella’s books just get better and better the more she writes, and I can’t wait for her unique twists on the Cinderella fairy tale in this novel. It looks like it will tie in with the original Perrault fairy tale and I’m super excited.

The Ivory City by Emily Bain Murphy
(Adult historical mystery)
(Please note: The content in this author’s books varies, so I can’t speak yet to this title’s content.)

I’ve read most of Emily Bain Murphy’s books, and I’ll be honest, some have been hits for me and others not so much. But I’m still excited to see what she does with an adult historical mystery, especially one with such an intriguing setting.

A Language of Dragons by S. F. Williamson
(Historical fantasy)

This one might turn out really good or really not, I’m just not sure yet. But it’s Bletchley Park and dragons—an absolutely killer concept. Because I haven’t read any of this author’s stories before and found this through the Goodreads blurb, I can’t speak to any content it may or may not have, so use discretion.

A Lethal Engagement by A. J. Skelley
(Historical mystery)

Man, this year has been all about the clever fantasy and the historical mysteries. But on the historical mystery side of things, this one really sticks out. It seems to have a bevy of interesting elements that you don’t always see in historicals and I’m interested to see how it all plays out, especially since this is my first A. J. Skelley book.

The Secret Investigator of Astor Street by Stephanie Morrill
(YA historical mystery)

The Lost Girl of Astor Street is getting a sequel after all these years? Yes, please! I remember Piper Sail as a wonderfully sensible main character and detective, and I’m looking forward to revisiting her and Astor Street.

Sons of Day and Night by Mariposa Aristeo
(Christian YA fantasy)

I have been following Mariposa Aristeo ever since she put out a series of Disney themed bookstagram reels (seriously, those reels won the internet for a good long while for me). It’s been so neat to follow her writing journey since then, so I was ecstatic when she announced she had a book deal. On top of that, the story for this one sounds so unique and fantastic, and I have a feeling she’ll take it in some unexpected directions.
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Star Wars: Sanctuary by Lamar Giles
(Sci-Fi)

Guys, we’re getting a Bad Batch novel! Bad Batch is one of my favorite Star Wars projects and I’m hopeful for where we see the characters end up in this book. (Don’t do them dirty. Please.)

A Study of Shattered Spells by Josiah DeGraaf
(Christian adult fantasy)

This one is probably my most anticipated book this year. I love all the dark academia vibes, and, as someone who works at an elementary school, I love the idea of a magic school from the teacher’s perspective. I also love that it looks like an excellently written Christian book that handles harder topics well. Plus, it’s a Christian fantasy for an adult audience, which is not very plentiful right now. It’s had a very successful Kickstarter run so far, and I can’t wait to receive the book this fall.

Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins
(YA dystopian) (READ)
(Please note: this book deals with sensitive topics/content including gore, some language, and overall intensity. Some readers may want to be aware of LGBTQIA+ characters.)

This one blew me away, guys, and not just because it’s Hunger Games. Some call this the most brutal Hunger Games installment yet, and I do have to agree with that. And yet it tells such a crucial piece of the story that it changed how I saw all the other Games. It also carries with it some very deep and important themes. Oh yeah, and it also destroyed me. (Five stars.) (Let me know in the comments if you’d want a blog post about my Hunger Games reread!)

Wings of Starlight by Allison Saft
(YA fantasy) (READ)
(Please note: some readers may want to be aware of LGBTQIA+ characters.)

Yes, I was a hardcore Disney Fairies kid. So yes, I didn’t even really read the blurb, I just clicked the want to read Goodreads button. I read it last month, and while it’s definitely not the best book I’ll ever read, it did make my inner fairy-loving seven-year-old very happy. And that’s worth something, I think. (Three stars.)

What books have you been looking forward to this year? Have you read any of these? What did you think of them? Let me know in the comments below! (And also let me know if you want that Hunger Games blog post!) 

Who’s up for another hyperfixation time?
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I warned you about this article. An article detailing all the reasons that I love the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo. Friends recommended these books over and over, and every time they did, I’d add it to my TBR list, certain I’d get around to it at some point. (Famous last words.)

Except this time, I did get around to it. And this book blew me away.  I speed-ordered the sequel and found myself just as engaged. These books quickly worked their way into my favorites of all time.

So I did what I love to do with all my favorite stories and tried to figure out why it drew me in. I’ve learned a lot about telling stories and my own writing this way.

Six of Crows was no exception. And I realized that Six of Crows also showed me what stories I want to tell.

Note: Six of Crows deals with some mature/sensitive topics that some readers may find triggering. Use discretion if you search it yourself.
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Hi, Olivia! Thanks so much for chatting with me. To start off, I have to put a plug in for your story! How would you describe A Book Dragon’s Story?

A Book Dragon’s Story follows Bookmark, a disabled book dragon desperately working to earn her place by her mother’s side in their family library, without burning it down in the process. If you like cozy stories you can read with anyone, fantasy, bookish vibes, family relationships, and mental health/disability rep, this is the perfect story for you!

(Side note from Rachel: I have read this story, and I absolutely adored it. It brings me so much comfort whenever I read it.)

How did this story come about? What inspired you to write it? 

I wrote this story at a very creatively dry point in my life. I knew I had to write a short story in two to three months, but I had no idea what to write about. I told myself, “Okay, what are some of your favorite things?” Books and, of course, dragons were what came to mind. So if I was going to get through writing a story when I couldn’t do much else, it had to be about something I loved. That’s how the idea was born, through necessity, love, and a bit of deadline desperation.

Do you have a favorite genre to write in? And if so, what draws you to that genre? 
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I’m a genre hopper! Right now, I love cozy fantasy, which is like regular fantasy but slower paced with less of the danger and more of the magic that keeps us coming back to those stories. Think The Wind in the Willows or life before Bilbo left the Shire! 

A Book Dragon’s Story is the first story I wrote in that cozy fantasy genre. But I’ve written in multiple genres before, like fantasy, sci-fi, mystery, and historical fiction. And to my embarrassment, I used to write cringey fanfiction like every good fangirl.

Which stories shaped you when you were younger? 
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If you’ve read my bio, you’ll know I didn’t start reading for a while. I didn’t learn to read until I was ten, so book reading was limited . But that didn’t stop stories from shaping me. I was obsessed with the movie Toy Story to the point of memorizing the entire script! When I eventually learned to read, I read lots of books. The biggest that stand out are the American Girl doll books (but specifically the mystery series), the Warrior Cats series, and The Secret Garden, which I hope to write a retelling of someday!

What is the best book you’ve read lately and what did you love about it? 

Now that’s just not fair to ask. I’m an avid reader, so picking just one is hard. I’ll have to say Water Moon by Samatha Sotto Yambao. It was a beautifully lyrical fantasy that felt just like a Studio Ghibli movie, if not a little scary at times too. I love books that entertain you and make you think, so I had to have my pencil by me at all times to mark down my thoughts.

Do you have a favorite book or TV character, and if so, what do you love most about them? 

I don’t have many favorite books or TV show characters, not because there aren’t great ones, but because I was so often disappointed by how the story went when I chose my favorites. It’s why I started writing, actually, because I was so fed up with all my favorite characters with autistic traits getting the short end of the stick!

I do have one recent favorite though. I just finished watching White Collar, a crime show about a former art thief who starts working with the FBI to save the love of his life. I loved the complicated but caring dynamic between the two main characters, especially the constant banter!

What do you love to see in stories? What do you wish you could see more of? 

I’m a broad reader, so I love to see a lot of things in stories. Families working together, magic and mischief, grand adventures, and happy endings are all my jam! What I wish I could see more of (besides more well-written autistic characters) is stories that don’t take the easy way out. Stories that choose to address the hard things we struggle with every day, whether it be a disability or something else entirely, and choose to show the light and goodness as well. It’s rare to find a story that is truthful enough to acknowledge the hard and brave enough to say that the hard is not the end.

One of the things I love about your newsletter is your current series where you’re answering readers’ questions about autism. I know I personally have learned a lot about myself and about other people from reading your answers. Is there something you wish more people knew or understood about autism?

I wish more people understood the fundamentals of what autism is. Autism is, in its broadest definition, a neurological disability that affects your communication, affecting how to filter, behave, and interact within the world. People seem to misunderstand what that means. (Which is funny since I’m the one with the communication disorder.)

There seem to be two sides of the confusion; either autism is a tragedy, a disease that takes everything happy in life, or a smart, cool personality trait that everyone should have. It’s both and neither at the same time.
Yes, autism is a disability that makes my daily life difficult and frustrating, but I thoroughly love who I am and live a fulfilling life. Yes, autism affects my personality as it’s a brain disorder, but that shouldn’t downplay the difficulties. I struggle, but I love who I’m created to be, whether I’m autistic or not.

What are your go-to books and resources (fiction, nonfiction, or online) for readers who may want to learn more about autism?  

That’s a great question! For years, I read and gathered the best books with autism representation I could find. It was a difficult, almost impossible task to accomplish. I’m still scouring the new release shelves today for new books. If you’d like a full copy of my booklist, you can subscribe to my email list here! But a couple of the top of my head are The Many Mysteries of the Finkel Family by Sarah Kapit and Good Different by Meg Eden Kuyatt.

As for nonfiction or online resources, it’s difficult to find one reliable source. Research and opinions about autism are constantly changing. You don’t need a degree to talk about something anymore, which means there’s a lot of misinformation on websites and social media that requires a skilled filter. But then even the people with degrees get it wrong! So it’s difficult to recommend one specific source for the answer because nobody has the whole thing. 

One great person to learn from off the top of my head though is Temple Grandin. Her autism research, the books she’s published, and the movie made about her life were very helpful when I was first learning about my disability.

If readers would like to connect with you or find your story, what’s the best way to do that? 

The best place to connect with me is my email list. I’m always chatting with them about autism, books, writing updates, and the occasional cat. You can find my books and writing, like A Book Dragon’s Story, on my website.

Thank you so much for taking the time to chat with me! I know I’ve enjoyed it. Is there anything else you’d like to add before we go?

Whether you check out my writing or decide it’s not for you, I hope you know whoever you are, wherever you come from, or what you can (or cannot) do, you are valuable no matter what.

​I always said I wouldn’t write a fantasy novel.

I didn’t have the head for it, or so I thought. I couldn’t develop a whole new world and all the rules and laws that came with that—my imagination didn’t stretch that far.

I never got into the medieval scene, and that meant I didn’t read much fantasy either. But you know what I did read? Historical fiction.

So I wrote historical fiction. It still let me escape into another time, another world. I thought that settled it.

Until I read fantasy.

I’ve experienced a “reading awakening” over the past few years. And somewhere—not sure when or how—I caught myself reading more fantasy than historical fiction.

Turns out it wasn’t that I didn’t like fantasy. I just didn’t like 2000s-era Christian allegorical fantasy. Not that there’s anything wrong with them—I look at some series in that subgenre and wish I could have gotten into them. But I could only take so many medieval Narnia rip-offs.

As I got older, not only could I choose what I read, but the fantasy market widened, like, a lot. Christian and general markets both made room for more subgenres, not to mention they had more books to choose from in the first place.

Goodbye, medieval Narnia rip-offs!

So I read fantasy and wrote historical fiction. Because I still didn’t believe I had the head for it.

Two things happened that slowly changed my mind. Well, really three. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

First, the more time I spent in historical fiction circles, the more I realized how much they really truly loved research. Which blew my mind a little. I thought research was the monster we all pretended to put up with until we found those couple things that made your brain light up.

That’s how I did it. Get the couple shiny ideas I wanted, research like a mad person for a day or two, and write a book. But when it came to the nitty-gritty of historical accuracy (what were they wearing then? What were they eating? What did houses look like?), I didn’t care nearly as much. Other than the few elements that interested me, it was hard to drag myself to research.

More or less, I used my historical setting like one would use a fantasy world.

Not a great system. Would not recommend. It only dragged me down when all those nitty-gritty things I skipped came back to haunt me during editing.

Second, I came across two stories that redefined how I wanted to write.

But I should go back a bit, let’s say 2019-2021, when I read the books Fawkes by Nadine Brandes and Shadow by Kara Swanson. Both made me turn the final page and say, “I want to write like that.” Both ironically were fantasy novels, despite my historical era, so I really should have seen this development coming.

Well, last year, it happened again, for the first time in a long while.

First, I came across the TV series Arcane: League of Legends. I promise I’ll spare you the PowerPoint presentation. (Besides, I already wrote a blog post about how much I love it, so if you want to know, you can check it out HERE.)

Then I took everyone’s recommendations at long last and read the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo (which will get its own blog post soon).

I could say so much about these two stories, but suffice to say, they both had such unique fantasy worlds, unlike anything else I had ever seen. They dealt with deep questions and themes, came with relatable characters, and told a beautiful, albeit dark at times, story.

I often get a “hangover” after consuming good media where my own fear bombards me that I’ll never be able to write something like that. But these two projects didn’t make me feel that way. I finished them, and I knew somewhere deep inside myself that I wanted to write stories like this. I knew I was meant to write these stories right now.

And third, around that time, I joined a writing group. That’s right, a real, in-person writing group. And everyone in that group wrote fantasy or speculative fiction of some flavor. I think that was my first acknowledgement of this new thing, the first time I decided that I wanted to try it, even if I didn’t quite realize it yet. I entered fantasy writing contests and registered to attend a fantasy writers conference/fan convention this summer.

And then I did it. I needed a new novel to pitch. So I sat down with a historical concept, that no matter how much I loved it, wouldn’t quite click.

Turns out it made the perfect plot for my fantasy world.

I planned to try a few chapters, see how I felt about it. I expected that it would be too hard and I’d scuttle back to historical fiction and pretend this never happened.

That concept unlocked something. I wrote the first quarter of the novel in sixteen days—the fastest I’ve written anything since I don’t know when. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a mess, but I can look underneath it and see a solid story, not all the work needed to make it somewhat presentable.

And most importantly, I had fun with it again. I recovered the ability to play around with my first drafts, to write things just because it sounded fun, to try wild outlandish things that sometimes work.

It scares me. After all, I did all this work as a historical author. What would it mean to switch genres now? But I think I’ve weathered it like so many other things in my writing life. I went with the flow and saw where it went.

So what now? Am I done with historical fiction forever? I doubt it. I’ll always leave that door open. There’s too many fascinating things in history for me to ignore. Maybe this phase is what I need right now, maybe I don’t have the mental bandwidth for research and such right now.

But I can’t ignore this door before me either. I wonder if everything’s led to this after all. Historical made a great lower-stakes genre to improve my craft before having to balance worldbuilding with telling a good story. Maybe that’s why I didn’t get a novel deal before now. I just don’t know. So I’ll keep telling the stories that I have right now.

I mean, really, can we do much else?

I don’t really know why I wrote this blog post. It seems a little presumptuous to assume you all want to read this story about what happens in my head.

I guess I hope it reaches someone else who’s thinking of doing something very different, whether switching the genre they write or maybe some other life direction. I hope maybe my experience might help you see where God uses your own life and leads you in this new direction, like maybe you were supposed to be here all along.

It’s scary, but it can be a lovely place to rediscover yourself and your own creativity and what you can do. Don’t panic. Give it a try, go with the flow, and see what comes. 

Got anything new you're trying lately? Let me know how your writing, reading, or whatever has been going in the comments below!

Alright, guys, buckle up. It’s hyperfixation time.

One of my favorite media pieces that I watched last year was the TV show Arcane: League of Legends. A friend recommended it, so I started it blind with no expectations. It blew me away. Season 1 is one of the best-written stories I’ve ever watched, and Season 2, while more plot-based, still concludes the series excellently.

And why do I have a blog if I don’t give my favorite stories some love sometimes?

(Note: Arcane deals with a fair share of mature/sensitive topics and content. Use discretion if you search it up for yourself.) 
​

Beauty and Brutality

First off, the art is absolutely gorgeous. I have never seen anything like this animation and art style. This show could have zero plot and I’d watch it just for the animation. Everything is high quality—the music, the sound design, the writing. And all those pieces come together flawlessly.

The beautiful imagery contrasts with the absolute brutality of the topics they approach. This show doesn’t shy away from hard topics. Amidst the gorgeous images, the show captures impoverished cities and the aftermath of war with an unflinching eye. It made sure this contrast haunted me long after I clicked past the final episode.

One instance that stuck with me ever since the first episode is a scene where the protagonists fight a rival gang. During the frenetic combat, it slows down and shows us the fight through the eyes of a small girl cowered in the corner.

Similarly, when poisonous gases flood a rival city, for a brief moment, it cuts to the kids who watch and point at it like a fireworks show.

Moments like those did more than a thousand other images. It reminded me that sometimes less is more, especially when it comes to hard topics. I don’t remember which author said it, about how when you write about war, you don’t need every gritty detail, you show a child’s sandal abandoned in the road. Arcane did this expertly.

This show chases the places where those two concepts—beauty and brutality—intersect. It finds the beautiful in brutal things and the brutal in beautiful things. 

Choices and Characters

One of my favorite things to ask people who have seen the show is who their favorite character was. I love seeing how different people gravitated to different characters.

I connected so deeply with some of these characters, deeper than I have in a long time. And even the ones that I felt less in common with still drew me in through their emotions and experiences. I understood why everyone did what they did, even when I hated what they did. Season 1 connected me so well with these characters that when Season 2 (which is much larger-scale and more plot-focused) rolled around, I kept coming back.

And every character has amazing things about them and horrible things about them. They can do both amazing good and incredible evil. They could have the best intentions and execute them in the worst way, or vice versa.

No one is ever truly the hero or ever truly the villain in Arcane. And that’s the most important thing about this show to me. I watch these characters make choices—sometimes small, some big, some good, some bad—with far-reaching consequences. 

And all those choices are rooted so deeply in their desires, the very desires that made me relate to them. 

It forces me to make the leap from the choices I watch on screen, to the points where I relate to the characters, to the choices I make in real life. Because realizing why I connected with my favorite characters shows me myself and my thinking. And the choices I see my favorite characters make force me to look hard at myself.

Sure, this is a far out and fantastical world. Sure, I’ll likely never face some of these choices.

But what about me? Would I make the same choices? What choices do I make—good and bad—and where might they lead? It forced me to examine the wants and needs that drive me—and how far I would go to get those.

It also shows how an innocent choice that you make can affect all those around you. While that idea can induce a bit of anxiety, it also emphasizes that you choose how you react. Sometimes things happen to you that you cannot control, things that you don’t want and you never asked for. But everybody chooses how to respond to it, how to take it back and make it their own. Sometimes good, sometimes not.

That’s why Arcane works. Beauty and brutality, choices and desires, it dives deep into the things that make us all human.

And that’s why it’s so beautiful, why it’s so brutal. Because a storyteller can create the most stunning images, they can nail all the story mechanics, but if they don’t hide a piece of themselves in it, it’s hollow.

That’s the whole reason we make art. To probe those deep dark places that we won’t open to anyone else. To feel a little less alone. To explore the world and everything that makes us us.

Sometimes it’s good to have a story that I can absolutely lost in for a few hours. But it’s even better when I can come out of that story not only having grown and learned as a writer, but as a person, too. That’s what Arcane did for me.

Have you watched Arcane? What did you think of it?

Even if you haven’t watched Arcane, what have you been watching and reading this month? Let me know in the comments! I’m always looking for a good recommendation. 

I’d planned a longer post this month, but the brain has not been brain-ing very much. So instead, I’ve listed my favorite books that I read over the past year. I’d also love to hear about your favorite 2024 read.

Before the Devil Knows You’re Here by Autumn Krause

This spooky read twists both folktale influence and light horror elements to create a hopeful story. I loved how the author wove in her Christian beliefs and Biblical themes into a general fiction story. (YA fantasy)

(Some readers may want to be aware of infrequent mild language and some gory/intense scenes.)

The Boy Who Didn’t Exist by Mariposa Aristeo

This short read (available for free Mariposa Aristeo’s website) is so unique and different. I mean, when did you last see a Christian steampunk? She captured those inner feelings of invisibility and also provided good abuse survivor rep. (Christian YA fantasy)

The Conductors by Nicole Glover

I loved her refreshingly no-nonsense main couple and the way the author blended magic and murder mystery. Points for also being remarkably clean! (Adult historical fantasy)

(Some readers may want to be aware of two LGBTQIA+ side characters.)

The Foxhole Victory Tour by Amy Lynn Green

This was one of my first 2024 reads and remained a favorite. I loved the fantastic stakes and sympathetic characters that made it hard to root for just one winner. I also loved the plus-size heroine. (Christian adult historical)

If I Were You by Lynn Austin

This book should be like a four-hour long movie like the 80s Anne of Green Gables. This Christian story feels authentic, rather than preachy. I loved how the author gave each character their biases and flaws, but rather than beat us with the message, she let us grow along with them. (Christian adult historical)

Ignite by Kara Swanson

This one is my top Christian read this year. I felt so seen when I read this book. The author represented the mental effects of abuse through a beautiful, fantastical story. I’ve never read another story with a setting like this one, and I can’t wait for the second book. (Christian YA fantasy)

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

These two are my top general fiction reads this year. I finally understand why people recommended it for years. This book is a masterclass in just about everything, but especially the characters. I never turned a page and thought, “ugh, this character again.” I wish I could back and read it for the first time again. (YA fantasy)

Note: This book deals with various mature/potentially triggering topics including trauma, PTSD, ableism, and abuse, including sexual abuse.

(Some readers may also want to be aware of some strong language, some gory/intense violence, and three LGBTQIA+ characters.)

Thieves’ Gambit by Kayvion Lewis

This perfectly scratched my heist novel itch, and besides that, it raises interesting questions about trust. It avoids the cliché theme of “well you should trust people more.” Instead, it questions what happens when you do that and the person you trust fails you. Fantastic suspense. (YA thriller)

(Some readers may want to be aware of mild language and three LGBTQIA+ side characters.)

Wolf by Wolf and Blood for Blood by Ryan Graudin

She races a motorbike so she can kill Hitler. With a concept like that, I couldn’t not try it. This novel as well as its sequel both tell a compelling story with a unique alternate history timeline. The author brought out each characters’ motivation so well and kept me hooked until the last page. That ending, though. (YA historical fantasy)

(Some readers may want to be aware of mild language.)

What was your favorite book you read this year? Let me know in the comments below! 

Last month, I talked about making my peace with Christian fiction and all its imperfections. What I didn’t talk about was how many times I wrote and rewrote that article. I didn’t want to come across too strong or give the impression that I was harsh and critical towards Christian fiction. As I wrote, I kept asking, “But what about this book? What about this author?”

So I decided this series needed an unofficial third part—where I dive into some of those stories and authors that make such a big difference in Christian fiction and the reasons I love their work. I hope you’ll enjoy switching gears a little bit here.

(You’ll notice most are historical and fantasy, since those are the main genres I read and write. Even if you’re not a huge fan of either genre, still check these authors out on social media or their websites!)

Hope Ann
(fantasy)

Hope goes after the deep ideas and questions and tells excellent stories. Even when she's discussing what seems like a fairly straightforward theme (such as the fruits of the Spirit), she digs beyond the top layer and gets into what that really looks like. She has several novellas available and I’m excited to see where her stories go from here.

Mariposa Aristeo
The Boy Who Didn’t Exist (YA steampunk fantasy)

This short read touches a special spot with its abuse survivor representation, but it also touches anyone who might feel invisible sometimes. It also has a steampunk setting—when was the last time you read a Christian steampunk novel? The best part? You can get it free on Mariposa Aristeo’s newsletter.

Terri Blackstock
Catching Christmas (adult contemporary)

I read this Christmas story every year, but only this year did I realize how much it does Christian storytelling well. The faith elements are explicit, no denying them, and yet no one has a dramatic sermon moment. It’s down to earth and feels so very real.

Nadine Brandes
Fawkes (YA fantasy)

Guys. I swear by this book. First off, people can do magic through colors, how cool is that? It’s also a clever allegory for the 1600s Catholic and Protestant clashes. I wrote an entire article about how she portrayed her God figure because it’s just that unique and just that good. (You can read it here: kingdompen.org/fawkes-book-review/). 

Ashely Bustamente
Vivid (YA fantasy)

I discovered this gem earlier this year, and I must confess, I haven’t read the rest of the series yet (I’m working on it). Like Fawkes, this book demonstrates that you have to find truth for yourself, but frames it within a Christian worldview.

Josiah DeGraaf
A Study of Shattered Spells (upcoming adult fantasy)

Alright, to be fair, this one hasn’t released yet. I helped with the cover reveal last month, and I am beyond excited for this book. Josiah has spoken about how he is self-publishing this book because he couldn’t find a Christian publishing house that accepted adult fantasy, but he didn’t want to tone down his Christian elements for a general market audience. He also discusses conversations within Christian fiction and fiction in general on his email list and on his Instagram. 

Enclave Publishing
(fantasy)

While I haven’t read all their books, they’ve also published quite a few of my favorites. I love how they provide a wider space for Christian fantasy and sci-fi authors and their stories.

Amy Lynn Green
(adult historical)

I look forward to Amy’s books every year. Her stories always include diverse representations and unique characters, and besides that, she tells wonderfully engaging stories.

Jocelyn Green
(adult historical)

Jocelyn also writes excellent adult historical stories with diverse experiences. The Metropolitan Affair is my favorite, again because she tackled abuse representation, but I also highly recommend the Windy City Saga.

Rachel MacMillan
(adult historical)

I haven’t read nearly as many of Rachel’s books as I wish, but the ones I have both told a good story and included diverse experiences and representation.

Andrew Peterson
The Wingfeather Saga (MG fantasy)

I read these a couple summers ago, and I fell in love with this whimsical fantasy series. While it is a Christian allegory, and usually that would signal a Narnia rip-off, Andrew takes unconventional routes both in his fantasy world and the way he presents his ideas. A good all-ages read. (They’ve also been adapted into a fantastic TV show.)

Kellyn Roth
(historical women’s fiction)

I worked with Kellyn Roth on our 2023 anthology, and I love her commitment to hard topics in Christian fiction. I get so excited whenever her posts pop up, because she’s thought through these questions and issues in Christian fiction, and that she will inspire me to do the same. Highly recommend following her email list or Instagram account.

Kara Swanson
Heirs of Neverland duology and Ignite (YA fantasy)

Ignite, Kara Swanson’s most recent book, is one of my top reads this year. Like Kellyn Roth, she’s dedicated to hard topics, specifically mental health. Ignite, for example, represents abuse and the many ways that affects how we think about ourselves and our world. I always feel seen when I pick up her books, and her books got me through some very tough times.

Roseanna M. White
(adult historical)

My favorite thing about Roseanna M. White’s books, what keeps me buying every single one, is how delightfully different they are! She foregoes the stereotypical Christian historical paths and instead incorporates spies or thieves or codebreakers or treasure hunters.

And these are just a small list! I can get so hung up on what I wish was different about Christian fiction, that I worry I’m overlooking all the good that these authors do. I hope you might give their books a look, if they’re your thing. And even if they’re not, you can always find their email lists or Instagram accounts and read their thoughts.

But now I want to hear from you! What Christian books or authors go above and beyond for you? Why do you love their work so much? Let me know in the comments below!