 During my first year of blogging, I couldn’t come up with something to put in my newsletter. One of my family members jokingly told me to write about how I didn’t know what to write. (*in SpongeBob imitation voice* *wait, I haven’t even watched SpongeBob* Three years later . . . ) Here we are. I’ve been blogging for three years (three years! We made it, everybody!). And usually before I post something, I still sit and stare at a blank screen for half an hour before tapping out the worst couple hundred words I’ve ever written in my life. (What have I been up to this month? What’s been occupying my headspace? What’s on my mind?) Sometimes, there’s just nothing. I went back to school at the end of August, and even though I slipped back into old routines fairly easily, sometimes I just find myself sitting there with nothing in my brain because it’s full of other things. (Does that make any sense? Can anyone relate?) Sometimes, things immediately spring to mind. I mean, I could write you thousands of words about my recent Marvel Cinematic Universe fascination, the psychology of my favorite book character, or the profound-ish (well, I thought it was anyway) thought that entered my head while I was watching a Disney movie. (But would that be too weird? I mean, does anybody really need to hear all that, or is it better left in my brain?) And other times, I reluctantly settle on a ho-hum topic and force out a couple hundred words—only for a stroke of inspiration to hit me halfway through the month when my post is already behind schedule. And of course, I completely abandon that hard-earned hundred words for a mini-rant on the topic of my choice. (I always come back for those hundred words, though. Most of the time.) Because even though I’ve been blogging for three years, no matter how explosive the stroke of inspiration or how interesting I find my random topics, a tiny voice in the back of my head never quite shuts up. "No one wants to read that. Or really needs to, quite frankly." "That’s just too weird. Choose something normal to write about already, like this blogger over here." "What’s even the point of this? Remember that really profound blog post you read last week? Shouldn’t you have something like that waltzing around in your head? Look harder." It’s silly, I know. I have all of you who show up every month to read this randomness and to leave encouraging comments. Maybe, if I’m lucky, it even blesses you a little. (You all know this blog is about you, too, right?) It’s easy to forget what this is all about. "I’m just not an interesting enough person to run a blog." "I’m really just annoying everyone and they’re only subscribed because they feel pity for me." "Am I just standing here going on and on, while the people I’m writing for have completely zoned out and are looking at memes?" "I’m not important and my voice doesn’t matter." But this isn’t really about me, is it? I’m not writing this so you all feel bad for me and shower me with love and affection. I’m writing this because maybe you feel the same. This is just one of the many channels where I’m hoping God’s grace shines through. And the fact of the matter is that He made me this way with my randomness for a reason. (Is it still random if I have a reason?) I and my voice are important, not because of what I have to say, but because of the One Who gave it to me. So maybe it’s time to loosen up and just be me. Maybe I don’t have to fit that particular idea I’ve got of what I should be. Some days that may mean writing a post when I feel like my brain is empty. Some days it may mean embracing the randomness. Some days it may just mean clicking post even if it doesn’t feel quite ready yet. Because someone needs to hear it. Just like someone needs to hear you. So. What’s on your mind? I'd love to hear it. Share your adventures in the comments below! I also realized I posted the same meme two months in a row. So I'm giving you two memes this month!
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